So, random post for a travel blog, but I had to put this down somewhere. I just realized something. A few years ago…okay like between four and six years ago, I was on a youth group retreat and the pastor for the weekend, Jimmy Dean, was talking about Twilight (because it was still like a huge big thing and just as shunned if not quite as ridiculed as it is now). Specifically, he was talking about how unhealthy the relationship in Twilight was. I mean, I can accept that a human and a vampire could be together and that the vampire might find some weird kind of redemption in his lifestyle. BUT, that’s not necessarily what he was saying. What he was saying (I believe. After all, it has been almost half a decade) was that the relationship was unhealthy simply because of Bella‘s total dependance on good ol’ Edward. I mean, it’s a little creepy. She’s so in love that everything comes second. And I do in fact mean everything. Everything from the lives of her family (who either she or other vampires might very well kill on accident or with purpose, those poor people being, after all, only human), to her own life, to her very soul. Honestly, it seems a little freaky to risk your soul for love in High School. I wasn’t even ready to risk my normal, average life-span in high-school, that’s part of the reason I went to college.
Anyway, there’s one part of that I myself just realized. It’s not even necessarily her willingness to give up potentially everything for this guy (I will nod and say that there is some level of romantic credit to be given there). It’s her dependance on him. Like, total dependance. Spoilers! I mean think about it. When Edward decides to ditch Bella because he’s too much of a danger (probably should have moved that one to the first book if he really wanted that to help), she goes nuts and tries all kinds of ridiculous, reckless things to try and bring him back or whatever. I mean, yeah break-ups suck and all, but there’s a larger issue. The issue is: each of us is responsible for ourselves. It’s not that we can’t have friends, spouses, significant others, family, etc. to help us out once in a while. Everyone reaches a time of their life when they feel low. Crap happens. BUT, it is not the responsibility of others to keep us up CONSTANTLY. That’s our job.
I worked as a camp counselor this summer. More than half my job was simply getting kids excited about whatever was going on. Whether that be breakfast at eight a.m. or energizers at nine a.m. I will tell you right now, I would never in a million years be able to have the energy or wisdom to keep even one kid on the up for an entire day. Never. That is up to them. I can help them see the fun of it, sometimes give them a shoulder to lean on or an ear to hear, but it is up to them if they can pull themselves up.
I have been in a hole too many times in my life already. Whether it involve, sickness, women, friends or some combination of any of those things, I have seen much. But every time it is not my mom, my friends or anyone else who can give me the true strength to rise above that. They can nudge, comfort and perhaps console me. But it is up to me to find my own happiness. And hell if I’ll let myself keep me from that.
Bella never said any of that. And that’s where she went wrong.