The Adventure Begins

Well. I’m packed. I’m in the car. I’m just about gone. Gone on an adventure whose twists, turns and bounds are unknown. I’m not scared. I’m not nervous. I almost wish I could be going to a frightening place in order to sympathize with the people who are going there. Or even the people who live there.

But one thing I do know about this. Whatever the outcome. Whatever experiences I have, whatever struggles (or facilities) I face, this is right.

There are things and people I don’t want to leave here, I’ll be perfectly honest. But no adventurer ever left with all his family and friends all around him the whole time. He learned to make new friends, to engage in other ways of thinking and doing and to conquer fear. The fear of leaving, of failing, of letting oneself or others down. I’m flying to a new and exciting place, whatever might happen.

And I’m ready to face the adventure.

Église Saint-Jean-de-Malte, Aix-en-Provence (France). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Closing Walls and Ticking Clocks

I don’t have much time left in the good ol’ United States of America. Not much time left to see friends, no time left to order anything else I might need online (so let’s hope I got it all) and very little time to make a decision.

Honesty hour time.

I…well, SUCK at expressing my emotional experiences. I mean, apart from not understanding, refusing to understand and occaisionally not knowing how to verbalize what I’m feeling, I lock-down. Like, hardcore. Anyone remember Agent Cody Banks? That really awful/awesome movie from the early 2000’s starring Frankie Muniz AND Hilary Duff (dream team right there). Anyone remember how good ol’ Cody reacts to women? Yeah. That would be me, except I’m perfectly suave and okay until the subject of my emotions enter into the conversation. Then it’s pretty much the same thing.

And it sucks. Haha. I have today, one weekend and a Monday. The clocks are ticking, walls are closing and pretty sure I’m going to be left with “confusion that never stops.”

On, hopefully, a lighter note. I do have a party to go to. So that will be fun. One last “hurrah” before I hurrah my way to a foreign country. And in honor of the fact that I just learned how to play it on the guitar and that it is very rapidly becoming my theme song (and is definitly the theme of this post), here is “Clocks” by Coldplay:

I just realized…

How much I’m going to miss my guitar. Of all things right? BUT, Ella’s a beautiful support system.

Ella. My beautiful guitar.

ONE WEEK

Well my friends, the time is winding down. All my various “upkeep” appointments are done. The time for online shopping has more or less passed as the item might not get here in time (unless I want to pay for crazy fast shipping). By the end of today I will have pants (cleaned out my wardrobe leaving me a single pair of cargo pants, which I still hold are awesome. However, I am very likely making a large transition into a new part of my fashion life) and even some new shirts. Actually, I can’t decide which I’m more concerned for. Those choices I have left in the hands of my best friend and my mom. I do trust them.

Usually.

Anyway, it seems just so weird that there is so little left to do. After a visa application requiring hours of prep and more thought than I really wanted, it just seems strange to have so little left.

• Bank: called.
• Required reading french book: Ha.
• Talk with my boss to figure out what the heck I’m going to do with my life: done.
• Friends: not quite done with them yet, thank God.

And now, it is time to leave you with a song for today.

Pre-Departure Realizations

1) 99% of your life you spend reliant only upon yourself for motivation, emotional grounding and self-confidence. So you should never expect others to fill 75%. That said, that last 1% makes more difference than anyone on this earth could possibly imagine.

2) Of all the fears, worries and reservations that I probably should have at this point, I have only one that actually draws concern from me: leaving my best friends behind. Or in a different country, as the case may be.

3) One hour of sleep can be the difference between dead-tired and hyper-active (with some coffee of course).

4) I love my family. Truly and deeply. But, I am ready to be on my own.

5) I am ready to leave. For all my last-minute purchasing and packing. For me, I guess, all I need now is to say my goodbyes.

6) Women, and everything in regards to women, are impossible to understand.